Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Someday Out of the Blue

First off, thank you for your kind words on my last post, everyone. ;___; You're so sweet.

Secondly, I got to talk to Grandpa today. I was told he's really weak now so I decided to call my Grandma and ask her if he even wanted visitors anymore... I was really anxious about that because I haven't seen him for a long time and I was scared he'd go without me having another chance to talk to him... But much to my surprise, Grandpa picked up when I called! Looks like I had listed his and Grandma's numbers under wrong names lol.

Anyways, we talked for some 30 minutes before, and he sounded really happy to hear from me and was acting tougher and stronger than he probably was, even going as far as saying, "Just a little bit of rest and I'll be perfectly fine!", which almost made me cry because it's just so like him to want to appear strong until the end. ;__; Anyways, talking to him made me feel indefinitely better. Even though that doesn't lessen the pain of losing him, it's easier to face it now. I'll be trying to go and see him before the end, but distance makes it difficult... We talked about my studies and me going to Japan in December and he assured me he has everything he needs right there...

So after the call I wept a little but eventually felt so much better compared to the last few days that I even got up and did a little bit of photoshooting.

Finally got to show off my new hat ♥ And yeah, I've really fallen for photoshopping lately...

On a brighter note, then... my blog now has 50 readers. :o That may sound like a puny little number to you, but it's huge to me! I'm amazed and extremely flattered that so many people find my life/photos worth following. ;__; ♥

So the question is: what to do now? I don't really believe in giveaways... though that's probably just my vanity speaking and saying I don't want to feel like I have to bribe people to read my blog. o__o I might very well do one later, but not now. What then? I have no idea, so if you do, please voice it! I guess I could do a q&a sort of thing, but on the other hand you can ask me questions whenever you want and I don't know if there's that much to ask about me... O___o'

As for comments, you may have already noticed that I started using this Disqus thing in the hopes of being able to reply to your comments right here. (Though I have never received any notification of the replies my comments have gotten so I don't know if it's of any actual use.) What bothers me is that I didn't know it would wipe out all my previous comments! I guess it's kinda logical, but I'm still pissed off it didn't warn me... TT_TT So comment a lot to replace the lost ones!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

You Can Only Screw Up So Many Times

Sorry, this is not a happy post... but bad things are a part of my life, too, and I wanted to let it out.

First and foremost, my Grandpa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He will not receive treatment, only pain medication. The remaining time could be weeks or months - I don't know. All I can do for now is to wait for the call that begins with a "My deepest condolences..."

Dwelling on this and rolling in my winter depression, I drew Death Note fanart, and for the first time since ever poured my heart into drawing rather than writing. See the picture here if you're interested.

Today was even worse, in so many ways.

- I woke up at 9:45. My shift started at 9:30. It takes more than an hour to get to my workplace from home. I was there at 11.

- My headphones went kaput while I ran to catch a bus. No music.

- I was obviously upset about something (mostly about my Grandpa), and a lot of my co-workers noticed it and asked what was wrong. I knew I'd start crying if I talked about it and didn't want to cry at work, so I tried to avoid the subject, but that only served to make them curious, and I ended up crying several times.

- The day was incredibly busy. We were constantly short on staff and running out of things - everything from clean plates to food. Luckily at least the customers were kind enough.

- Remember when I mentioned I had injured my leg at gym? It's been fine these past two weeks, but I haven't dared to risk it and go to the gym again yet. Turns out it was a good decision - it started hurting again, and the last few hours at work I had to speed-limp.

- When I (finally) got to start cleaning up, the first thing I did was open the heat engine thing (where you put the soups to wait to be served) to clean something I had spilled earlier. Turns out someone else had spilled a lot more... probably a week ago. Whatever it had been it had had plenty of time to settle all over the floor and the walls of the machine and turn into something black and creepy. It took me FOREVER to clean that up... and while I was at it, the door of the damn thing decided to swing closed and hit me in the head. Still hurts like a bitch.

- One of the dish washer dudes flipped a bitch at me for whatever reason (maybe he had a bad day, too) and practically blamed all the shit that happened today on me, and I sort of started sobbing because I was just so tired and there was still so much to do.

- My co-worker ended up hospitalized because she burned her hand.

- The skin of my hands is so dry they start bleeding if I stretch my fingers.

- The one good thing about today: at the end of the day, my awesome superior Heidi came up to me and said, "Hey, let's hug." and then she hugged me and told me to smile, because sometimes it helps.

There, that was my Saturday. How about yours?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Chocolate Is the Answer

What I wore to go see the new Harry Potter movie~~

Slowly but surely I'm climbing up from the Angst Pit I fell into a while ago~ Sorry I'm so slow, but I've also been really busy... X___x

Anyways, some photos from my birthday party a week ago and SUB's Christmas party yesterday! Once again, I didn't really have the time to get properly dolled up (and yesterday I was pretty glad I hadn't curled my hair or put on too much make up, because the weather was horrible and nothing would have lasted for five minutes...)

How I looked at the b-day party & a demonstration of my incredible photoshopping skillz XD ♥

Emma came hours before others to help me bake (= to bake for me) and to gossip some. This picture is evidence that she eats at least once a year - at my b-day party. (She should have worn an apron saying "Kiss the Cook" 8D)

The party was quiet and pretty short, so I don't have a lot of pics... Jonas, Rikkis and Milla.

Inkabeibs ;___; She stayed after others had left, helped me clean up, and then we sat and just talked for two or three hours and she totally saved my night. ♥

Milla, Jonas, Inka, Pihla and Nea playing Tekken or Crash Team Racing.

I was so happy Vesa came too *w* ♥

Post-party look..... My lashes totally failed me D: You can barely even see them! I'm not too sure about the glasses, either, but I had just bought them and my look seemed to lack something so I just put them on anyways.

Then SUB's Christmas party!

Mirka and I~

Maria and Saara

Essi and Jukke ♥ Even their choreographies match XDD

Sari has Mickey ears XD And I can't help loving Maria's expression~

Hot women keep falling into my lap all the time! Really now, and in a public place!!

I left pretty early because I was tired and feeling a little ill, but even before I left we had some drunk-angsting (not from me, this time - luckily!!), a Tequila Strike-Force attack to the bar, and Ari had switched shirts with some other dude (....................) and found a new hat which he firmly believed was his... At some point he returned wearing his own shirt, though, so I guess it's fine. XD

Today my alarm went off at 5:30, and I got up, blinked my eyes, and decided that I was dead tired and needed some more sleep, and back to sleep I went. After waking up again I immediately proceeded to rolling in self-loathing and guilt for skipping my Spanish class, then checked my email and found out that the class had been canceled anyway... This is the second time this happens to me in TWO WEEKS. XD What?! Not that I'm complaining!

Still stressed, still tired, still miserable. Feeling slightly better now, though, and I even felt pretty good earlier today. ♥

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

once in a blue moon

A couple of photos from Tsukicon~ I didn't take many and wasn't presentable in most (if at all - on Saturday I was going through my very first hangover ever, which was embarrassing enough in and of itself, and on Sunday I just felt bleak and disheveled by the wind and rain...), and I haven't seen too many pictures I could have stole-- borrowed around the internet, either.

Saturday's outfit~ This is my hangover look. 8) lol XD Excuse my stupid face. ♥

At first, my Saturday was pretty miserable and lonely; I got there late and didn't have a specific friend to hang out with. Meeting Becci, however, cheered me up so much~~ ♥

Oops, my bangs are getting a little long...

She was gorgeous and so very kind. *w* A downright lovable person, with a great personality and the cutest smile ever! She had been eyeing the same wallet (at her friend's stall - I don't know her name but she was very pretty and nice as well!) as I, and still she told me to buy it for myself ;___; So kind!

The wallet (the black one) with it's twin sister, adopted by Sanna~

St. Sanna the Kind-hearted saved me from the loneliness that seeped back after I'd met Becci, and I tagged along with her and her friends to go eat something. While we were waiting for my super-slow gluten-free chicken sandwich, Sanna began, "I gotta show you what I got -" and I began, "See what I just purchased -" and then we dug out these cute-as-hell wallets, looked at them for a moment, and burst out laughing :'DDD Great minds think alike?

While Sanna's friends went to their hotel to touch up their make-up, Sanna and I snatched Saara along and headed to McDonald's, preferring watching the queue to the evening's gig from indoors to standing in the rain...

It was great. o3o I felt like we had known each other for ages - we talked about a lot of superficial stuff, a lot of gal stuff, and a lot of really deep stuff. :o Finally, thanks to these girls, I was beginning to enjoy my day *w*

HITT's gig was on the borderline of awesome and ridiculous, and in all other respects I'm leaning towards awesome except for performing playback. I seriously facepalmed so hard when I first noticed it. X____x He performed some of the songs for real, so I don't really get why - he could certainly sing well live, too. Oh well, maybe he had to focus on his incredible dance moves - and of course, on checking his hair in the little mirror he had on stage a couple of times...

In any case, the show was energetic and hilarious (in so many different ways), and his variations of several famous songs (YMCA -> HITT and White Christmas, for example...) left me grinning from ear to ear - so overall it was definitely worth the money. Besides, he was hot. XD

The party that followed was a little boring except for the unexpected sighting of a certain ex-of-a-friend and his slimy friend, who turned on their heels and escaped the moment they saw me, and only later gathered the courage to talk to me. Apparently they - or the slimy friend at least - were there scouting for underage girls... I actually saw Slime talking to some girls on the dancefloor and was sorely tempted to go tell them he's almost thirty (and some other juicy little facts about him), but luckily I didn't have to - his ugly face did the work for me.

On Sunday, I was on a slightly better mood~

The best part of the day was meeting Charlotte *w* I hadn't seen her the previous day, so when I saw her and her fabulous hair standing nearby, I went into a complete fangirl fit :o I was clutching my camera so hard I was worried it might break, debating whether to go and ask her for a photo or not, with Saara urging me to go and do it. Then she started moving, and I was like NOOOO - but THEN, she walked straight up to me and asked something about my hair! I was so happy she actually came to talk to me because I really wanted to talk to her and was completely incapacitated by my shyness XD

We ended up spending a long time talking with her and Laura and Annika - about school and traveling and I don't even remember everything :o - and watching the parapara show together. She was so sweet and kind, and so gorgeous! ;___; I've always liked her style, but meeting her made me realize that there is a wonderful person underneath all that awesome hair. I'm very happy I had the chance to talk to you & get to know you, Charlotte. :3

The parapara show was followed by some stressing and fretting due to the interview thing I talked about last time and a photographer taking pictures for Egg. They interviewed and photographed a lot of people, so it's not a big deal - seriously. They might very well choose to leave me out. That's actually what stresses me so much. XD If I'm left out, then I'll be ugly and/or stupid. If I'm included, I'll be exposed to criticism. Both sound bad... Especially since I totally froze in front of the camera and promptly forgot all my posing skills. My smile probably looked like I was trying to swallow a pineapple whole...

To soothe my publicity-wrecked nerves, I ran off with our next door visual gay---- kei prince, Inka.

And because I'm greedy like that, I didn't settle with just a boy-girl, but chick-napped a girl-girl named Annika as well - though, in fact, she had been brave enough to keep me company all day. :'D

On a completely different note, don't you guys just hate it when you agree on doing something with someone else, and then you hear nothing from them, and then when you finally ask them if they're coming with you or not, they say, "Oh, no, I've got this and that and yeah, no can do." I mean, it's not so much that they don't keep their promises but the fact that they haven't even bothered to tell you they're not coming when they've clearly known for a while... It makes me so mad and so miserable. Makes me feel unwanted and unimportant. Unfortunately, I have some friends who do this all the time... otherwise great friends. But still. X___x

I also failed my very first test ever. I won't lie and say that wasn't a blow... but I guess it's okay since it was on the day I heard Grandpa had been taken to the hospital. (I hear he's getting out soon, but the diagnose doesn't seem too good.)

Thank you for your supportive comments on my last post. ♥ I'm still at a loss with blogspot - should I reply by posting another reply to the same post, or by posting a comment on one of your posts? But if you haven't updated for a while I'll feel silly commenting on something older just to say, "Hi, thanks for being such a sweetheart ♥ x"... Since I usually want to reply to everyone, not receiving a reply from me probably just means I'm confused about how to go about it. I'm simple like that...

Now I'm off to bed~ Been up and going for 20 hours now and got only 3 hours of sleep last night X___x Tomorrow I have a meeting with my optician about why my circle lenses feel better in my eyes than my actual lenses, and maybe I'll get some working real lenses... I feel awkward wearing circle lenses to work and I'm afraid of getting shouted at for them all the time, but my real lenses feel so uncomfortable these days ;__;

Sweet dreams ♥ -H

Sunday, November 14, 2010

As Vain As I Allow

1. IT'S A BOY IT'S A BOY IT'S A BOY ;_____; Jenna texted me today to tell that both she and her newborn baby boy are well and ready to rock the world and I very nearly ruined my make up weeping out of joy. ♥ She was my best friend in fourth grade, but we lost contact for years, so even though this is her second child, he's the first one I knew to expect, so in a way this is the first time anyone of my friends had a baby *w* I'm so happy for them~~~

2. Tsukicon came and went and I'll post more about it some other day (when I have time), because right now I'm still sort of rolling in insecurity and embarrassment over not looking at my best and being so blah all the time and whatever... They also interviewed a lot of girls for some sort of document kind of thing on Finnish gals (I think XD), and I was among them and got to demonstrate my miserable pronunciation in three different languages.

Actually, I didn't really like the interview much. They started by asking if I am "gyaru", and I was like, "Uhh, I try to be?" and obviously confused them. D: But I really hate to label myself, and I also know that if I announce publicly "I am gyaru", I'll get the hounds on me in a nanosecond telling me just what I'm doing wrong. If I have to label myself, then yeah it would be gyaru. But I'm really wary about saying things like that...

Then it was "where did you buy the clothes you're wearing". Damn if I remember! Something from Shibuya, something from H&M, something from Guess... I don't really do brands. I'm a student, my wallet is always on a diet. (I swear if they're gonna pick just one thing from my interview, it's going to be "I usually buy pretty cheap clothes. I'm a student." - and probably without the latter sentence... XD)

Next was who do I get ideas from - they wanted names. I COULDN'T REMEMBER ANY. So I just rambled something about Charlotte, Viivi and Pin, and then listed the names of the few models I could remember. All of them were Egg models and I don't really follow Egg style X____x

Then they wanted to take pictures and talked something about posing, but I was so nervous I probably looked like I was sitting on a cactus and wasn't even sure if I was supposed to stay rooted to spot or strike a pose at some point...

After the pictures the interviewer wanted to ask one more question - about my pink highlights. Who did I get the idea from? I desperately wanted to say it was something I'd come up with on my own, but since I'd seen shock colors on some models, too, I figured that would have seemed a bit arrogant... So I just stammered something about seeing it on some model whose name I couldn't remember. ;___;

Poor quality picture of the post-con look today, make up surprisingly still intact by hair rather flat. Still, I really liked my hair today and it stayed amazingly well curled - probably because I used up all my hairspray. I don't have any left. X___x

And you know what? After all this, the most wonderful thing in the world is to come home, take off your extensions, lenses and lashes, change into woolly socks and sweatpants and shovel some noodles into your mouth while looking like a complete and total slob. This weekend has been both a nice ego booster and a serious blow to my self-confidence...

Thank you for all you lovely people who came to talk to me and kept me company ♥ I'll be back on the subject when I get some pictures from others and have some time~ :3

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Beyond Birthday

My birthday came and went and left me older and hugely behind on my homework. (Because I promised myself to just relax all day and not work or worry one bit. I cheated and read some Shakespeare in the morning, but that doesn't count, does it? XD) I already feel horrible for spending a day doing nothing useful o____o I'm so much behind with things I'll probably be writing essays in Tokyo!! (I DID in L.A. X__x BUT I got a 5- for that one, so it paid off! 5 being the highest grade.)

My Grandmother (who has the same birthday as me! o3o) sent me a postcard to congratulate me. She gives me her "warm greetings" (a poor and literal translation for a special purpose). She's in Egypt, ~30 degrees, celebrating her birthday with, idk, her friends, sunshine, camels, pyramids and pharaohs... and I'm here in Finland, ~0 degrees, celebrating mine with wind, rain and school stress. TT_TT What have I ever done to her? Except for buying flight tickets for Dec 25th, which she'll probably never forgive...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Something I Don't Wanna Understand

What?! Maaaaaan, I seriously hate and loathe blogspot X____x Now I'm suddenly and spontaneously "not currently following any blogs. click here to add one", but when I try to add the blogs I've been following, it says I already follow them - or to try again later. But I can't see them on my stalking list. ;__________;

I HATE BLOGSPOT WITH A PASSION. I guess I'm a bit of a dinosaur but fahdasjkdakld why couldn't everyone stay in LJ... It's so much easier replying straight to the comments and having a clear and simple friends page to look at... And I like being able to change my icon, too...

Good old days never come back... .___.

On a more positive note, I noticed I'd gained ~10 new followers since telling the address in the FB page of Finnish Gal Meetups yesterday. :o I still have very few, but every single one makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and all comments are treasured ;___; Thank you! Maybe when I have a nice, still undecided, round number of readers (if ever XD) I'll do something special... Not sure what, though. I'm not much a friend of giveaways because they seem a bit too much like bribing people to like you (... XDD Well, I'd feel that way...), but I really can't do much - I draw alright and write alright but I'm guessing that's not exactly what people reading this blog are after.

Since blogspot still claims I'm following some of the blogs I used to, I'll just wait until tomorrow and see if they suddenly pop up from somewhere. If not... I guess I'll start adding them again, though that'll take forever and I don't think I'll find some again, since I don't remember blog names. :< (Do I show in your followers list, btw?)

Leg still sore; stairs, walking downhill and walking after sitting for a relatively long time still a pain. No gym for a while, apparently.

No pictures this time, but I hope to add some tomorrow - when it's my birthday ♥ I got some pictures from the party on Friday, so I can even show the eye-patch outfit a little better. :3 Now I'm off to dye Elsi's hair~

(Btw, I heard yesterday that one of the girls at the party on Friday - that is, one of my co-workers - got mugged on the way home from the party. She was attacked, beaten and left unconscious on the street, wallet, phone and camera stolen. They can't even tell if her nose is broken or not because it's still so swollen. She'll be in a hospital for at least a week. I feel so bad for her (even though I don't know her at all - she's new) ;___; Hope she gets well soon.)


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead!

(3 awesome Halloween parties later...) [pretty much copied from my LJ entry because I'm lazy like that XD]

A MAJOR photo spam of my Halloween!! I was hideously busy yesterday, first with a Halloween-themed Gal meetup and then a Halloween party at Milla's place~ (not to mention organizing a Halloween-themed Christmas party for the people at my workplace on Friday!) but I had such a great time!! I seriously don't remember the last time I enjoyed my life as much as I did yesterday.

Apparently my outfit was successful too!! My self-confidence went from six feet under right through the roof because everyone was so nice to me and I got a lot of compliments! o3o I've been so down lately, this was exactly what I needed ;___;

This is how I looked at the party on Friday! I'm so bummed I couldn't find a nice jacket so my outfit was kinda lame... But I really like how the military hat + eye-patch thing worked out 8) I don't have any photos because I left my camera at home... I'm hoping my co-workers will upload some later, if they're any good I'll show them then ♥

The Gal Meetup @ Happi

I was the Wicked Witch of the North ♥ XD

On Saturday, 12:30 pm, we met up at the Helsinki Central Railway Station as usual, took a subway and headed to have a Halloween gal party! I'm too tired to write a full account (and what would you do with one, really?), but let's just say I enjoyed it even more than last time because now I got to know some girls better. ♥

Emma braved the lions' den and came with me, this time~ But she had to leave in the middle for work, so she couldn't do a Halloween costume

"Hey baby did you hurt yourself when you fell from Heaven? ;D"
"Bitch, PLEASE! Remove yourself from my personal space, I'm not interested!"

Great minds think alike, so it's no surprise our costumes were alike as well! We had feather boas...

... cats (and a mouse!)...

... and of course, witches!!

I had a great time and I was so sad I had to leave so early D: But I hope I'll be free for the next meetup! ♥

The Party @ TilQ's

So, after the flight with my fellow witches of the West, the East and the South, I headed out on a heroic adventure to find my way to TilQ's place in the dark! I was successful until near the end, where the evil night made me take a wrong turn and get lost lol XD After walking back and forth for a while, I found a familiar crossroad, promptly walked to the wrong door and retreated before ringing the doorbell because there wasn't enough noise coming from behind the door... Milla lived in the house next to that one. XD

Having finally gotten to the next level, I was now faced with another challenge: monsters were pouring on me from all around! This is what greeted me when I came in:

The food was really gourmet: brain muffins, a hand-shaped pizza-kinda-thing and candy worms (below)!

After a while, this is what the pizza-hand-thing looked like...


The most intense moment of the night: the Terminator slays the innocent maiden!

That's about it ♥ Meetup pictures are taken by me, Satu and several others who we trusted our cameras with (including Emma and Ella). Party photos taken by me, Milla or... well one of our guests. XD