Heart Don't Fail Me Now

Heart, don't fail me now!

Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turn back now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
Or how a road can seem so long
How the world can seem so vast
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you
On this journey...to the past future

Hi everyone~ I know you're all probably sick and tired of my excuses, but then again, I'm sure you can do a month or two without my updates well enough.

So, what's my explanation this time, you wonder? I've been receiving treatment for my eating disorder and have just finished my two weeks at the day unit. They would have liked to keep me for a week or two more, but I decided to try recovering on my own because I found the atmosphere there really oppressing and not very inspiring. The nurses and other patients were all nice enough, but it wasn't exactly a picnic, and I don't intend to go back. :3

That said, you can probably guess that I haven't been going out much - but I do have a few photos for you. After all, I've been gone for a good while, yet again...


First, there was my housewarming party. Not too many photos were taken that night, which is probably a blessing. :D




Then my brother graduated from high school, and Aleksi proved himself by bravely going where no boyfriend of mine has gone before: meeting my extended family, curious aunts and teenaged cousins alike. Because we were a little short on extra hands, he was immediately employed as the butler. :__D

A lot of people commented on our similar hair styles. I kept replying, "The difference is that my hair still moves when it's windy." :'D ♥



Then it was my one and only female cousin's confirmation, and soon after that Dad's step-brother turned 50, so I've been seeing my cousins and second cousins a lot more than usually. It's really cool, though, because now the smallest are beginning to remember me and it just melts my heart when they start following me around at parties. ♥ ;___; I asked one of them (3 years old) if he thought I'm old, and he replied, "Yeah, and BIG, too!" XDD He was so confused when I told him that his godmother is mine too. Kids are so cute.




Then Finland finally realized that it's summer and the sun is supposed to be shining, and I went on a tanning spree. :3 Unfortunately, my tan magically disappeared when I entered the ED unit and had to spend all days indoors eating and sleeping and eating and sleeping and maybe playing with the other kids (just like daycare XDD), so now I'll have to build it back before fall comes and steals my sun!







Then, the week before the daycare, I went to zoo with Aleksi and Julia ♥

The pictures are the smallest and the largest bear known - according to that I'm a medium-sized bear. 8D Ain't that cool.

Julia, on the other hand, was a medium-sized bird. XD

There were cute, fluffy animals...

... gorgeous animals...

... slightly creepy animals...

... and stunning (if a little gay) animals. :D

And then there were some really weird-looking animals that are probably mammals but like to laze around in the sun, preferably on a warm rock, like lizards. ♥




And finally, last night I hosted Rikkis's birthday party at my place. We played sing star and guessing celebrities, ate, drank and laughed. I had a great time and I hope everyone else did too. ^^

At least they did. XD

We were also celebrating my being freed from the "Please do feed the animals" cage of the day unit and Emma's birthday. It's a brand new life waiting for the both of us... and it might be scary but it's gonna be so worth it all!

And whatever the path ahead has in store for me, at least I won't be walking it alone. ♥




Oh yeah. :D I figured I wanted something new to celebrate all these birthdays and new beginnings and all, so I dyed my hair (with my own dainty little hands, now pink-stained) the night before it. Around 3 am. Considering the time, I'm pretty happy with the result, even if it turned out hot pink instead of the baby pink I had imagined... What do you think? :3



Lastly, I really want to thank you all for the kind words and support you gave me on my last post. I don't feel that I deserve such faith and kindness, but it meant a lot - you guys were in my thoughts whenever I found myself struggling through a meal. Thank you.