You Can Only Screw Up So Many Times

Sorry, this is not a happy post... but bad things are a part of my life, too, and I wanted to let it out.

First and foremost, my Grandpa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He will not receive treatment, only pain medication. The remaining time could be weeks or months - I don't know. All I can do for now is to wait for the call that begins with a "My deepest condolences..."

Dwelling on this and rolling in my winter depression, I drew Death Note fanart, and for the first time since ever poured my heart into drawing rather than writing. See the picture here if you're interested.

Today was even worse, in so many ways.

- I woke up at 9:45. My shift started at 9:30. It takes more than an hour to get to my workplace from home. I was there at 11.

- My headphones went kaput while I ran to catch a bus. No music.

- I was obviously upset about something (mostly about my Grandpa), and a lot of my co-workers noticed it and asked what was wrong. I knew I'd start crying if I talked about it and didn't want to cry at work, so I tried to avoid the subject, but that only served to make them curious, and I ended up crying several times.

- The day was incredibly busy. We were constantly short on staff and running out of things - everything from clean plates to food. Luckily at least the customers were kind enough.

- Remember when I mentioned I had injured my leg at gym? It's been fine these past two weeks, but I haven't dared to risk it and go to the gym again yet. Turns out it was a good decision - it started hurting again, and the last few hours at work I had to speed-limp.

- When I (finally) got to start cleaning up, the first thing I did was open the heat engine thing (where you put the soups to wait to be served) to clean something I had spilled earlier. Turns out someone else had spilled a lot more... probably a week ago. Whatever it had been it had had plenty of time to settle all over the floor and the walls of the machine and turn into something black and creepy. It took me FOREVER to clean that up... and while I was at it, the door of the damn thing decided to swing closed and hit me in the head. Still hurts like a bitch.

- One of the dish washer dudes flipped a bitch at me for whatever reason (maybe he had a bad day, too) and practically blamed all the shit that happened today on me, and I sort of started sobbing because I was just so tired and there was still so much to do.

- My co-worker ended up hospitalized because she burned her hand.

- The skin of my hands is so dry they start bleeding if I stretch my fingers.

- The one good thing about today: at the end of the day, my awesome superior Heidi came up to me and said, "Hey, let's hug." and then she hugged me and told me to smile, because sometimes it helps.


There, that was my Saturday. How about yours?